Mikey the monkey peeked around the tree in the little park and giggled, her polka dotted bow drooping over one eye. It was Saturday afternoon and she was playing hide and seek with her friends. The park was right next to the little white church where she lived with her family in the cozy basement behind the Christmas ornaments’ box. As Mikey the monkey scampered to the apple tree that she and her friends decided was home base, she heard “Mikey, dinner time!” Mikey The monkey waved goodbye to her friends and raced home. Her tummy was starting to growl and she couldn’t wait to see what her mom made for dinner.

As they sat down for dinner, Mikey the monkey bowed her head as her mom prayed to thank God for their food. Mikey, the monkey eagerly reached for a piece of bread, and her mom said “Mikey The monkey, did you wash your paws before dinner?” Oops! Mikey looked down and realized she hadn’t. She was so hungry, but obeyed her mom and hurried to wash her paws. Mikey The monkey knew this rule was important to keep her from getting sick. After dinner, she started to scamper to her room to read the adventure story she just started the night before, but her mom called out, “Mikey, would you clear the dishes off the table?” Mikey carefully carried the dishes to the sink while she told her mom about the fun she had in the park that day with her friends. She told her mom that Moose The monkey didn’t obey his mom that morning, so he wasn’t able to play at the park that afternoon. Mikey the monkey’s mom said that while it’s hard to obey when you want to have fun, it’s important that children obey their parents and their elders. “What’s an elder?” asked Mikey the monkey.

“An elder is someone who is a trusted adult and you need to respect them by obeying and being polite.” Mikey asked her mom if she had to obey all adults, remembering the lessons she learned about being careful of strangers. Her mom said, “Well, you need to remember the rules about strangers. It’s OK to disobey an adult if they’re a stranger and ask you to go somewhere with them or tell you to do something that you know is wrong.”

That evening, Mikey The monkey sat down beside her pile of storybooks and was in the middle of the adventure story when her mom said it was time to brush her teeth and get ready for bed. “Just one more minute.” Mikey The monkey called out and continued reading, her whiskers twitching as the book was getting to the most exciting part. “No, Mikey The monkey, it’s time for bed.” Mikey quickly found a bookmark to mark her page and jumped up to obey. She put on her pink pajamas with the teddy bears and brushed her teeth. She smiled in the mirror. “Yes, nice and shiny!” she thought to herself.

As Mikey The monkey kneeled beside her bed and prayed, she thanked God for helping her to obey today quickly and to not complain or grumble once. Sometimes it was hard because she really wanted to play at the park longer, and she didn’t like doing chores, or having to stop reading her book when it was just at the most exciting part. But she was happy that she did obey and she knew that God had helped her to do her best that day. Mikey the monkey knows it makes God happy when she obeys!

Is it sometimes hard for you to obey too? God can help you do your best every day too. And did you know that Mikey The monkey loves Jesus? He is Mikey The monkey’s best friend and he can be YOUR best friend too! You can just pray the below prayer and Jesus will be YOUR best friend and will help you do your best every day too! Did you know the angels are cheering in heaven every time someone invites Jesus to be their best friend? Isn’t that exciting?

Dear God, I know I am a sinner. Please forgive me. I believe that Jesus died for me on the cross and that He arose from the grave so that I can live with Him in Heaven someday. I am now trusting Jesus as my Savior. Thank you for loving me and saving me. Amen.

“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” (Colossians 3:20)

May God bless these words as I strive to edify and encourage others in their walk with Christ. Married 20 years, I have a teenage son, and two wonderful golden retriever/collie dogs. I am also a contributing staff writer to www.HeartFriendz.com – an awesome website just for women! Nancy Quinn

Maya,the monkey squinted one eye open. Her bed that morning felt so warm and cozy that she didn’t want to get up yet. But she heard her mom’s voice reminding her that they would be late for church if she didn’t start getting ready. Maya The monkey groaned and pulled the blanket over her head. She wished she could miss today and stay in bed a little longer. Sometimes she wondered why it was important to go every Sunday. After all, it was very hard to sit still for that long and sometimes she had trouble understanding the sermon.

After Maya, the monkey ate breakfast, she brushed her teeth and smiled into the mirror as she put a pink bow in the tuft of hair on top her head. Convinced that her teeth looked bright and shiny enough, she grabbed her little Bible from her dresser and she joined her family as they scampered to the vent to watch the church service.

Maya listened to the soft music in the background as she looked around the church from her vantage point. She loved to watch the sunlight stream through the stained glass windows on either side of the church, but Maya’s favorite stained glass window was at the front of the church. It had a picture of Jesus with his arms outstretched. It was like Jesus was welcoming everyone to his house and Maya The monkey liked that. She glanced at the wooden board near the choir loft and carefully turned each page with her brothers and sisters to find the first song they would be singing.

As Maya, the monkey sat through the church service, she was sorry that she had wondered that morning why she had to go to church. Church was special for so many reasons and Maya The monkey decided to try to list as many as she could through the service that she could think of. As they sang, Maya The monkey put that as #1 on her list. The singing and praying they do at church are a part of worshipping God. Worship is showing God that you love him. The song finished and everyone sat down. Maya The monkey glanced over at her friends from school and added fellowship with other Christians to her list. As she heard the pastor list the names of people who were ill and needed prayers, Maya The monkey added that as #3. She remembered when her Uncle Maury was sick; the friends at church were the first people they asked to pray with them. The church is like your family because they pray for and care about you. As Maya The monkey listened to the sermon that morning, she added teaching as #4. Maya The monkey did learn a lot from Sunday school and from listening to the Pastor. She knew by learning as much as she could, that she would know how to be the best person she could be for Jesus. By the end of the service, Maya The monkey smiled as she heard the pastor read the final Bible verse in the sermon from Matthew 18:20, “For where two or three come together in My name, there am I with them.” That was perfect for the last thing on her list. Maya The monkey always got a special feeling when she was in church. She knew it was because this was God’s house and when everyone was praying and worshipping together, she knew God was happy.

Maya, the monkey walked back home with her family and told her mom about her special list. Her mom agreed that those were very good reasons and she reminded Maya, the monkey why they had chosen their church. The Pastor taught from the Bible and they believed in doing their best for Jesus every day and to help others know that Jesus can be their best friend too. There are many churches to choose from to attend! If you’d like to know which church you should attend, you can pray and ask God to help you find a church that will help you grow in your faith. Some churches don’t teach about Jesus, so God will let you know where He wants you to be! Do you know Jesus as your best friend like Maya, the monkey does? If you don’t, just pray the following prayer and Jesus will come into your heart to be your Savior and best friend too. Did you know that the angels in heaven cheer and rejoice when someone asks Jesus to be their Savior? Isn’t that exciting to know? God loves you very much!

Dear God, I know I am a sinner. Please forgive me. I believe that Jesus died for me on the cross and that He arose from the grave so that I can live with Him in Heaven someday. I am now trusting Jesus as my Savior. Thank you for loving me and saving me. Amen.

May God bless these words as I strive to edify and encourage others in their walk with Christ. Married 20 years, I have a teenage son, and two wonderful golden retriever/collie dogs. I am also a contributing staff writer to www.HeartFriendz.com – an awesome website just for women! Nancy Quinn

by Crown Financial Ministries

“For whom the Lord loves He reproves, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights” (Proverbs 3:12). Normally, during the first 10 years the basic attitudes of children are being formed.

Unfortunately however, it appears that discipline in spending is one attitude that has proved to be lacking.

A recent survey reports that although teens spend more than $80 billion a year, of which the majority has been funded by parental allowances, fewer than half know the basics about credit, checking, savings accounts, or auto insurance.

There is no such thing in God’s economy as an allowance.

The word allowance is a misnomer, because it means something that is given to someone and was not earned.

Although it is important that children receive money of their own—either through allowances or payment for jobs completed, so that they can begin to learn how to handle money wisely—parents need to be careful that they do not train their children to expect allowances rather than to work for what they need.

Rather than giving their children an allowance without any accountability, parents really need to teach their children financial responsibility with any money they receive.

Establishing an allowance

Setting up a successful allowance means talking with your children about what the allowance will cover, how they can spend it, consequences of overspending, how much should be saved, and how much should be given to the Lord’s work.

A weekly income helps children learn money management, responsibility, values, goal setting, and planning. They also experience the consequences of making financial mistakes.

Parents, in turn, are freed from the chore of being their children’s bank tellers, and they’ll find it easier to track how much money their children spend.

In order to ensure balance, parents need to be careful about setting allowance amounts. Children’s allowances should be enough to look forward to, enough to enable parents to begin teaching them God’s financial principles but not enough that all their wants and desires are met and they have no need for extra jobs.

Ultimately parents need to wean their children off allowances and onto their own earned income.

Therefore parents need to make sure that children’s allowance raises do not keep pace, percentage wise, with their budgets. Their allowance should become an ever-decreasing portion of their budget.

Allowance guidelines

Allowance amounts depend on several factors: age, maturity level, interests, responsibilities, and the family’s financial situation. Give enough to encourage giving to the Lord and saving, but don’t give too much.

At the beginning of each school year, sit down with children to discuss the allowance. Decide what things the allowance will cover.

Let children make decisions and mistakes with their allowance. Monitor spending and don’t give them more money when they overspend.

Put the allowance agreement and guidelines in writing, including the amount, what day it is given, what it covers, and any restrictions.

To keep up with children’s changing needs and current costs, review and adjust the allowance agreement regularly.

Be consistent: set a specific time and day to give the allowance and stick to it.

Don’t link allowance to routine household chores. Children have chores because they’re members of the family; they get an allowance to learn how to handle money. Linking the two may result in children who won’t do anything without pay or children who decide the money isn’t worth the work.

Don’t link allowances to behavior; it confuses the issue and can become a source of conflict and manipulation. Don’t use an allowance to punish.

Don’t use allowance as a bribe for good behavior. It’s okay to reward children for courage or especially good behavior, if the reward is given after the fact.

Be a good role model. Parents should teach their children that God owns everything by allowing them to see this principle at work in their lives, that the first portion of their allowance belongs to God, that they need to live on a budget, and that they need to exercise self-controland discipline in their spending.

Extra money

All children need some basic responsibilities for which they are not paid. Children make their beds because they sleep in them. Children help with dishes because they eat food and dirty the dishes. Children put dirty clothes in the laundry because they wear them, dirty them, and need them clean again.

As children get older, if they complete tasks over and above their regular chores—gardening, washing the car, cleaning the basement—it’s fine to pay extra for the extra work. If children say that they really need something, provide opportunities for them to earn the money, do not just give it to them.

However, the parent must be fair and pay the children equitably, according to what the parents are able to afford.

Before they get paid the parent should make sure that the children have done quality work, they have finished the jobs, and the parent knows and has approved how the money will be spent.

Conclusion

Each parent and child takes on certain responsibilities and also gains certain benefits from being a family member, much like the relationship of each believer in God’s family.

We each have certain responsibilities that must be carried out if the family is to worktogether, children included. Each family member receives benefits that come from working together and benefits from simply being a member of the family (such as an allowance).

By teaching that each family works and lives together for mutual growth and benefit, and putting allowances in that light, parents and children alike can establish the right attitudes and principles. The key is to give children their allowances and require them to do their household chores without tying the two together like a work-for-hire agreement.

We have responsibilities toward God in working for His good, but we also receive many blessings simply for being His children. We must use God as the best example of parenthood to our children because He balances gifts and rewards perfectly.

Visit Crown Financial Ministries for more articles and resources

The oldest institution known to man is the home (Gen. 1; 2). The antiquity of the home is seen in the fact that the home is vital to civilization. God is the author of the home and has sought through his word to regulate, mold, and form the home to where it is an ideal place for the legitimate fulfillment of the physical, social, and emotional needs of men and women (Gen. 2: 18 ff.). The home is also the perfect arrangement and environment for the upbringing of children (Eph. 6: 1-4). Alas, there are many problems in America regarding the home. A growing number of sociologists and historians are telling us that the traditional home in America is on the endangered species list. Most social ills facing our wonderful and once strong country stem from problems in the homes across this county.

The most recent government census (2000) reveals some interesting facts and figures to all that are interested and have the courage to read the signs and warnings. The census told us that unwed people living together jumped 71. 7 percent during the 1990’s.

According to the census, single women raising children grew five times faster than married couples raising children. David Murray, director of Statistical Assessment Service, a Washington based think tank, said, “We are on the verge of a brand new experiment in American life, where a significant portion of young people will not know the family structure of a married father and mother.” An article appearing in The Orlando Sentinel, May 15, 01 stated, “The latest information shows the American family in a continuing state of flux, with an increasing number of people living together outside marriage and more single women raising children.” Some, in a manifest effort to find something good to say regarding the findings of the census report, state that it does appear divorce is on the decline. What they fail to factor in, though, is that marriage is on the decline, more people are just living together! Another alarming fact emanating from the census is: “The growing number of unmarried partners, which reached 5. 5 million in 2000, also includes same-sex relationships and older people living together, but those numbers won’t be available until further census releases” (Orlando Sentinel, May 15, and 18, 2001).

In view of the signs and warnings, it is especially urgent that we study the home as God intended it to be. I shall attempt to herein accomplish this task by examining the home as a training ground and some threats to the home.

The home as a training ground. Some of the most wonderful and meaningful words in our vocabularies are home and family. When we think of the home, we think of love and security. Some of the most unselfish love that we will ever experience in our entire life is witnessed on the part of a loving father and mother as they dedicate themselves to the protection and nurturing of their children. However, the traditional home of the fifties is rapidly changing, for the worse, I might add.

Children are to be nurtured and trained in the home. When God created the animal kingdom, He placed within the animals an innate instinct, if you will, to nurture and train their offspring. God also intends that humans exercise great training when it comes to their offspring. “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord,” Paul enjoins (Eph. 6: 4). The word translated “nurture” is the Greek noun paideia. W. E. Vine comments thus on paideia:

“Paideia: denotes ‘the training of a child, including instruction;’ hence, ‘discipline, correction,’ ‘chastening,’ Eph. 6:4, RV (AV, ‘nurture’), suggesting the Christian discipline that regulates character; so in Heb. 12:5,7,8 (in ver. 8, AV, ‘chastisement,’ the RV corrects to ‘chastening’); in 2 Tim. 3:16, ‘instruction.’ See INSTRUCTION, NURTURE” (Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words).

It will be observed that “nurture” implies affection and true love and also involves training, education, and discipline, too often absent in the average home in America. More and more Americans do not attend service on Sunday and do not provide spiritually for their children. How sad!

Children are to be taught to honor and respect their parents. The scriptures teach, “Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth” (Eph. 6: 2, 3). Parents should be revered by their children, not viewed as peers or simply friends. “Honor” also involves physical remuneration. Another growing problem in America is the aging population. Government is expected to provide for this increasing segment of our society. However, God places the responsibility on children (see Matt. 15: 4-6, I Tim. 5: 4, 8).

It is in the home that children learn the first lesson in obedience. Paul commands, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right” (Eph. 6: 1). The biblical home is structured (Eph. 5: 22-6: 4). The Bible teaches discipline, both of an instructive and punitive nature (cp. Prov. 13: 24). Children must be provided guidance and rules to be followed. When these rules are violated, proportionate punishment must be exercised. In some areas, we are approaching anarchy and, I submit, much of this rebellion begins in the home, due to either the lack of structure or the reinforcement of discipline.

In the home, children are taught the fundamentals of Christianity. Timothy had from an infant been taught the things of God by his godly mother and grandmother (2 Tim. 3: 15, 1: 5). Jesus, his authority and church, should be an ever present theme in the home, both in teaching and in practice (Matt. 28: 18; Eph. 1: 22, 23). Children must be taught the nature and value of material things (Lk. 12: 15). Respect for God should begin in the home. Young men should be taught the importance of fatherhood and being a provider and leader in the home (Eph. 5: 24 ff., I Tim. 5: 8). Young girls are to be taught their role as a wife and mother and the art of home making (Eph. 5: 22 ff., Tit. 2: 4, 5). It is in the home that young people learn of marriage, as they observe their own parents (couples who just shack up are sending a terrible message to their children). They learn of the sanctity, dignity, and purpose of marriage and home making. The children learn all these matters not only by the verbal teaching of their parents, but also by the good examples their parents are to set for them (Deut. 6: 6-9).

Some threats to our homes. One has only to look around to see the many threats to the home as taught in the Bible.

The sanctity of the home is being destroyed. It seems that the devil has marshaled all his evil influences and directed them at the home. The matter of shacking up is definitely an insult to the sanctity of the home. Just living together belittles the holy nature of the home, in the first place. The statement of living together out of wed lock is, “we do not care enough for each other to commit and we do not care that our children are illegitimate!” Same-sex marriages are going to become more common, I predict. Lesbians and homosexuals in general forming a “marriage” is reprehensible in the sight of God, such is “an abomination” (Lev. 18: 22, Hebrew, a strong odor to the nostrils of God).

Parents shifting their responsibilities to others. Big Brother (the government) is now in the children raising and “home” providing business. Many due to their inability to responsibly act, are forcing government more and more into the role of parents. “The school is not the place for sex education, but parents are not teaching their children at home,” I have heard many times as principles and teachers have explained to me the matter of sex education in the schools. Godless humanism has become a part of many school curriculum’s, replacing the principles of honesty taught in the Bible. Parents are allowing the public schools to provide their children with religion, which happens to often be atheism in the form of organic evolution. The church has also become the substitute for the family. While the church is valuable, God never intended for the local church to act as a substitute for irresponsible mothers and fathers (I Tim. 3: 15).

The flagrant disregard on the part of couples for the God given sphere and roles involved in biblical marriage. The husband is the head, the wife in submission, and the children submit to their parents, this is what the Bible irrefutably teaches (Eph. 5: 22-6: 4). Many families today, alas, are in a state of total chaos as they reject God’s teaching. Women are so busy in pursuing their secular careers and the men are busy being one of the boys. Children are often left at home alone to entertain themselves by watching the filth that is too often seen on television and videos.

Beloved, since God is the author of the home, He knows what is needed for the home to not only survive, but to also prosper. It is not too late to restore the home, the root of so many of the societal problems that are tearing down our wonderful country. It all begins with you and me as individuals. Let us make the home a place that our children will cherish when they grow older and can use to help them model their own homes.

If children do not respect their earthly fathers, then it will not be easy to learn to respect the Heavenly Father. When fathers do not pay close attention to the training necessary for their children, their children will usually develop problems that will build up over time. Children easily get embittered from a father’s wrong word or action. Paul warns against this.

“And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).

Any distance between them greatly influences the way the child will relate to God the Father. Even if he does become a Christian, he will live at a distance from Him. When God works in the life of his people, then they are able to see their bitterness in their own earthly relationships and seek to restore those relationships. Renewal always works itself back to the father-child relationship. When John Newton came to know the Lord, he sought out to be restored to his father. This is just one of many examples of how important spiritual nurturing is for the child.

When we have children, parents are right to pass on lots of love, care and attention to them. Our possessions and affection have been given to us by God to rightly prepare our children for Him. Your children will always have a special relationship with you, but it is critical that our purposes for our children always rise beyond our own needs and desires. We must prepare them to be responsive to God. Parents are God’s stewards. Our job is to properly prepare our children for a life before God. All of our hopes, feelings and attention for our children must come under this understanding. We are accountable to God for how well we do the job.

An Illustration

Let me give you an example. A mother loves dancing. And yet, she never could dance the way she really wanted because she lacked proper training. She so much desires that her daughter would have those opportunities she didn’t have. This is fine. If she is careful to notice, however, as a Christian mother she will detect a silent tension within her.

She will see the potential conflict. One the one hand, she has a desire for her child to have certain opportunities she missed in life. On the other hand, she will see how the pursuit of this will lead to a conflict with the need to know, love and serve God. Like each person, she and her daughter only have so much time. Eventually however, the conflict of priority will be revealed. What happens when that one class or competition happens to be on Sunday, the Lord’s Day? Suddenly the battle will rage within their hearts. Will she take her child to church as always or will she try to convince her husband of the importance of that dance class?^[4] These decisions highlight the need for us to remember that God’s ways always take a priority.

Parents are on a mission to train children to be fit members of His kingdom. God wants children who love His ways and have learned to prioritize what He wants over against their own wants or desires.

These situations will occur time after time. We are either teaching our children to fear the Lord and love His ways or we teach them to seek their own quests and the pleasures of life. As parents, however, we will be held accountable not to our neighbor but to God. Would it not be our greatest earthly reward for a Mom to have her children, “rise up and bless her” (Proverbs 31:28) or thank their Dads for training them in godly ways?! Parenting is lifestyle discipleship training. Food, clothes and education are important, but we would wholly shirk our responsibility if we did not train our children spiritually. They would not be able to join God in His great program nor would they be able to share in the wonderful benefits of His eternal kingdom.

“For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul” (Mark 8:36)?

So what are your hopes and goals for your children? Many parents have not outwardly expressed these hopes and aspirations for their children. In many cases parents haven’t even concretely thought about them. The ideas are there. They influence the parent’s decision-making process but often elude critical thinking.

The more we can catch a glimpse of what our goals are for our children and compare them to what God wants, the easier it will be to rightly handle areas of potential conflict. The more clearly we understand what God wants to do through our lives in our children, the easier it is for us to make the needed sacrifices and ignore the worldly pressures surrounding us. This is the way God’s kingdom is established through the family. We identify His truths. We prioritize his truths. We live by His truths. We pass on His truth to the next generation.

“Let all the earth fear the LORD; Let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of Him. For He spoke, and it was done; He commanded, and it stood fast. The LORD nullifies the counsel of the nations; He frustrates the plans of the peoples. The counsel of the LORD stands forever, The plans of His heart from generation to generation.” (Psalm 33:8-11)

Pause for Reflection

List at least three things you hope to happen in the lives of your children. Write down as many as you can think of.

List at least three things God wants to do in your children’s lives.

Group the lists together and prioritize the list as much as possible.