You attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus. Phil 2:5

Our attitude has a lot to do with how we think and act. Once we become children of God, the Bible tells us that we are transformed into a new creation. This transformation will make you think and act differently. This tranformation will make us become more like Jesus everyday.

As we look at Jesus, we see that He was not controlled by power and wealth because He gave all that up to do the Father’s will which was to come down to earth with nothing but a desire to please God. So we see to be like Christ, in this area, we must change our focus. Unfortunately today, we are so consummed with achieving wealth and power and this is so contrary to what Jesus was like. So do you have an attitude like Jesus in this area? If not, what are you going to do about it?

Paul tells us that Jesus was humble. It takes a lot to achieve this but we know that nothing is impossible for God. Unfortunately we view being humble as a weakness but was Jesus weak. We should be more concerned about what God thinks than man and we will be able overcome the obstacles of being humble.

We also know that Jesus was obedient to God. Despite the challenges of what God called Jesus to do, He did it. He didnt try to talk God out of it because it was challenging, He didn’t procrastinate, He did only and exactly what God called Him to do. What about you?

Finally Jesus was a servant to God and others. Jesus was a servant to everyone and not just His family. We often find it easy to help and serve our family but God calls us to higher level of servanthood. First we must serve Him. How many of you are serving in your church? How many of you are serving God with the talent/gift that He has given you? Most of us give our talents to our company and not our church, what a disservice to God. We are also called to serve others with our wealth. Unfortunately, this world is in the decay because for years we have only thought about ourselves and material things. We have become slave to the lender and as we result we have no wealth to share with others when they are in need. How sad God must be. Do you have the servant attitude of God?

So to conclude, do you have some work to do to align your attitude with Jesus’. Are you willing to work on these things? If you answered yes to this, I recommend that you start with reading the Bible, join a Bible study group, listen to Christian radio which you can find on the web now. Try visiting LWF.org, intouch.org, Biblegateway.org, which are some of my favorite radio programs and Bible resources.

Remember if you are expecting your children to have an attitude like Christ, then you example that attitude. They will follow you!

Let me know what you think about this on Facebook.

Kathy Kirk
Christian Parenting Coach
www.MyChildsHeart.org

Rod Robison

The television industry is in a battle. Its weapons are a potent concoction of sexually titillating programming launched with savvy marketing tools aimed at your family, and especially your kids and grandkids. In recent years hundreds of cable and satellite networks have flooded the marketplace. The result has been that each of them shares a thin slice of the viewing public pie. Competition for the pie is fierce. So, many of these networks have introduced sexually explicit programs in an effort to lure viewers. Network executives know that younger viewers are drawn to such programming. And, most importantly, they know that young people make up the lucrative market advertisers crave most.

In his book, “Who Speaks for God,” Charles Colson tells of a humbling experience he endured one night at a banquet. He was seated next to the president of one of the major television networks. Colson saw the seating arrangement as a rare opportunity to convince the network president of the value of airing more family oriented programming. After all, a Gallup study proved that there are over fifty million born-again Christians in the United States. What a financial boon it would be to the network if they would pursue this huge block of viewers by offering them good clean programs.

Colson marshaled all of his persuasive abilities as he made his best case. The network president listened politely. At the end of Colson’s presentation the network president asked this question: “What you’re suggesting, Mr. Colson, is that we air more programs like, say, ‘Chariots of Fire?’”

“Yes!” Colson exclaimed, “That’s a great movie with a marvelous Christian message.”

The network president went on to explain that his network had, in fact, aired that movie just a few months before. That same night the other two networks were airing “On Golden Pond” and “My Mother’s Secret Life”, a show about a mother hiding her past as a prostitute, both of which did very well in the ratings. “Chariots of Fire”, on the other hand, brought in very poor ratings and was a big money loser for the network.

“So,” he concluded, “where are your fifty million born-again Christians, Mr. Colson?”

Unfortunately, numerous studies indicate that the viewing habits of Christians are not, on the average, any different than those of non-Christians. The so-called “family hour,” that a few years ago the major television networks instituted after being pressured by concerned groups, has all but vanished from the airwaves. And, instead, networks are in a race to see which one can titillate the most, push the envelope of decency the farthest, and score the highest shock value.

I remember several years ago when a major network featured the first openly homosexual character on a prime time program. It was big news. The Church was outraged. Letters poured into the network’s headquarters. Things certainly have changed, haven’t they? Just yesterday I saw a tabloid headline that declared “T.V. Goes Gay Crazy.” Featuring homosexual lifestyles in a positive light is now the norm. And it’s a trend that has invaded countless programs.

Entertainment Weekly, not exactly your most morally conservative magazine, even questioned the moral depths to which television has plunged. Frankly, I debated whether I should share with you the gory details of what is available to our kids on a daily basis via the T.V., as reported in that magazine. But I don’t know how else to make the point clear. So here goes…

Entertainment Weekly reported in its August 11th issue that MTV recently featured close-up video of the dissection of comedian Tom Green’s diseased testicle. On various networks a prime time commercial for Eddie Murphy’s Nutty Professor II: The Klumps suggests oral sex between a man and his grandmother. This past summer CBS proudly aired a Reebok shoes commercial featuring a mock but obvious homosexual act. Reebok’s VP of brand communications, John Wardley, stated in the article that the commercial was aimed at the 16-24 year old market. The writer of the article summarized, “The notion of indecency has become obsolete.”

The prime time program Undressed, which interweaves 23 different story lines of sexual exploits, is winning a following with the young MTV crowd. A few years ago the WB Network discovered the same mother lode of teen and young adult audience sexploitation and began mining the market with Dawson’s Creek. Entertainment Weekly called Dawson’s Creek, “The frankest depiction of teenage sexuality ever seen on the small screen.” Variety exclaimed, “If hormones were explosives, this would be World War III.” The Washington Post and USA Today agree that Creek is “a raging stream of hormones,” and “a one-hour ride on the Raging Teen-Hormone Express.”

Last summer on the cartoon South Park one of the main characters gets hooked up with an organization that advocates pedophilia. In the episode one of the members declares, “We are an organization dedicated to showing that sex between a man and a young boy can be a beautiful thing…”

The Howard Stern Show regularly features vulgarities, perversions, and illicit sex as its subject matter, as does a growing number of other prime time shows. What was once relegated to the late night hours of extra charge channels like HBO and Cinemax is now splashed across the screens of prime time television in a network race to see which one can most effectively prove the maxim “sex sells.”

If I were writing a book I might have the space to scratch the surface of the moral depravity available to our kids with the push of the remote button or simply by “stumbling” across it while panning the dial. But I think you get the idea. Most of us have a moral bomb in our living rooms. We can’t expect our kids to diffuse it. So that leaves you and me.

Some families have chosen to “clean house” by tossing out the TV. Many have found this option to be a refreshing change and one they have been able to make permanent. Perhaps more families have tried eliminating the “boob tube” from their lives, only to find themselves sheepishly returning it to their living rooms in a weak moment. For the family that wants to keep a television in their home, but only if it can be controlled, here are a few suggestions:

1. CONSIDER YOUR HOME A SANCTUARY AND YOUR TV A GUEST

Your home is the one place your family can take daily refuge in from the onslaught of negative influences in society. All other attempts to tame the TV must revolve around this one point. When you dedicate your home to the Lord, you are setting it aside; sanctifying it, if you will, for the special purpose of “growing” your family.

Your TV is not a part of the family. It is a guest in your home. As with any guest, you expect it to behave within certain moral guidelines. If any other guest in your home were to tell lewd jokes to your children, brag explicitly about his sexual exploits, take the Lord’s name in vain, or relate gratuitously violent stories you would undoubtedly ask that guest to change his behavior. Why should the TV be any different?

2. TAKE A LEADERSHIP ROLE

Both mother and father must lead the way. Don’t be afraid to change the channel when needed. Your children will respect you and follow your example more readily when they see your consistency.

3. TEACH YOUR FAMILY TO THINK CRITICALLY

It’s not enough to tell your children they can’t watch something simply because “it’s bad.” If you expect them to make mature, informed decisions on their own some day, you must first give them a values base from which to make those decisions.

Teach them to understand the true nature of TV as it relates to God’s Word. Make them aware of the fact that the number one reason TV exists at all is because someone wants to sell them something.

The average high school graduate has viewed over 350,000 commercials. If your children are taught to watch commercials critically, to look for the half truths and manipulation of much of commercialism, they will be better able to say no to the flood of materialism that is so much a part of TV.

Teach them to look for the philosophical message in television programs. I remember watching an episode of a popular “family” program a few years ago. This was a program that most people would consider safe for family viewing. Yet this particular episode gave a thumbs up to premarital sex between two teenagers.

Make your family aware of the fact that there is no such thing as an unbiased opinion. Everyone, including television executives, writers, newscasters and actors, have a philosophical bent. Quite often that bias is promoted through the powerfully persuasive medium of television which they control.

The now famous Lichter-Rothman study of 350 media elite surveyed the top decision-makers in national news, movies and entertainment television. The responses given by those leaders indicated an overwhelmingly liberal stance on such issues as abortion, homosexuality being taught in schools, adultery and Christian values. Yet the most striking finding of the study was that 66% of those television entertainment leaders surveyed felt that television should be used to promote social reform. So if you don’t think that these leaders use their power base to influence your kids, think again.

Finally, teach your children to watch for the interplay of good versus evil in the story line of a program. Does the program glorify evil or is evil depicted in order to show its true nature. Sometimes Christians are too quick to criticize the depiction of evil without examining whether or not its depiction is necessary to demonstrate its wrongness. There is a difference between gratuitous evil meant to titillate and limited but necessary depiction of evil.

4. BECOME AN INFORMED VIEWER

Subscribe to American Family Journal (available at www.afo.org), Media Watch, Plugged In (available at www.family.org) or other publications that can keep you up on quality programs as well as those you want to be wary of. You’ll also want to check out these websites for other helpful hints.

www.family.org/pplace/pi/tv/

www.liveit.net/family/mfam20000922.html

www.liveit.net/family/mfam19990108.html

5. PLAN YOUR VIEWING AHEAD

Avoid watching TV just for the sake of watching. Use the TV programming schedule to help you decide what is worthy of your family’s time. Consider limiting the number of hours the TV may be on in your home.

6. CARTOONS WITHOUT COMMERCIALS

When my daughter was younger we had a video tape labeled “cartoons without commercials”. This is a tape I put together one Saturday morning. The several hours of programs are all “parent-approved” and free of commercials. She watched it countless times.

7. CONSIDER THE TRUE VALUE OF A CAMCORDER

One weekend my wife and I took the plunge and invested in a camcorder. We couldn’t afford it (we thought), but we’ve never regretted buying it. That was fifteen years ago. In that time we’ve captured hours of memories that would have otherwise faded with the years. To this day my kids still love watching their younger years on TV. This is not an option for everyone, but the cost may be more affordable than you think when measured against the memories you’ll capture.

8. PLAN FAMILY ACTIVITIES

One of the most destructive things about TV is not only its potential negative influence, but its tendency to rob your family of the positive things in life. In other words, what could you be doing with the time now spend in front of the TV? Could that time be used more constructively? Family activities will give you a good excuse to spend time away from your TV and with each other. But you must plan those times or you may never get around to doing them. Hiking, bowling, stargazing, going to museums, swimming, camping, reading together, concerts or whatever your family enjoys doing will be enriching experiences that television can never duplicate.

9. FILL YOUR HOME WITH GOOD MUSIC

The television is often used to provide background noise in the home. If you’re not actively — and critically — watching it, turn it off and turn on good music. Quality music helps set the tone for your family sanctuary.

10. SET A BOOK GOAL

Some years ago I started setting a goal of so many books to be read in the coming year. A couple of years circumstances have caused me to miss it, but that’s ok. I still read more books than I would have had I not set a goal.

By setting a goal, whether monthly or annually, you are disciplining yourself to spend the time necessary to meet the goal – much of which might otherwise be spent in front of the TV.

Have you ever noticed how much better you feel, how much more fulfilled, after reading a book as opposed to watching an hour of TV? There’s a reason. Reading forces your mind to visualize the action. Television visualizes it for you. Reading allows you to stop and think critically about the material. The action on television goes by so quickly that there is precious little time to think. Reading puts your mind in an active state. Television puts your mind in a passive state. A number of scientific studies suggest that when your mind is in a passive state the messages it is receiving imprint themselves more readily onto your subconscious without first going through your mind’s rational-critical grid. In short, reading is exercising your mind; watching TV is putting your mind on pause to a great degree. Sometimes we need to put our minds on pause, but too much inactivity brings on mental atrophy.

11. DON’T CONFUSE THE MESSENGER WITH THE MESSAGE.

Television programming is made up of two components: The Messenger and The Message. The Messenger is the vehicle in which The Message is carried. The physical make-up of the program — the characters, the action, the dialogue, etc. – is The Messenger. The philosophical tone and moral lesson of the program is The Message. Sometimes The Messenger can be good while the Message is destructive. For instance, a movie that has no nudity, swearing, or violent content (The Messenger) might still have a very negative moral lesson (The Message). Just because a program has no obvious “objectionable” content doesn’t mean it’s good for your family.

Conversely, another program might have some violent content (The Messenger) but have a very positive moral lesson (The Message). An example of this would be, at least in my mind, the movie “Saving Private Ryan.” Although I would not recommend the movie for young kids due to its violent content, it has a very powerful, positive message of heroism and patriotism.

By evaluating a program’s Messenger/Message content you’ll be better able to evaluate its value for your family.

12. Consider what effect these few words from Scripture would have on the content of television programming if they were used as a guideline by the television industry. Perhaps more realistically, what effect will they have on your family’s viewing habits?

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.

Phillipians 4:8 NIV

Rod Robison is the Vice President of Development for Family Life Communications Incorporated.

What is your Cross?

In my parenting class last week we didn’t get to our parenting topic because their where life issues to address. We discussed the storms that come to all those who believe. Sometimes as Christians we wonder why a loving God would allow His children to suffer because we wouldn’t do this with our own children. We wouldn’t and don’t do this with our own children because we don’t have the strength nor understanding of the benefit of allowing our children to make mistakes and suffer. One person in class brought back to memory James 1:2-4 – Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Instead of looking at the problem, we should look to God. Instead of praying to get out of the storm; we should be asking God what is it we can learn in the storm. Instead of thinking woe is me; you should be thinking thank God it is me. As James tells us, trials bring about perseverance and perseverance brings about maturity in Christ.

It amazes me that Christians feel like they do not deserve trials but what makes us think that we are better than Christ. Unlike Christ, we deserve whatever happens to us because it is to make us more like Him. He didn’t deserve to die a horrible death on the cross. Based on Christ’s crucifixion, we know that God allows things to only happen for a good reason. Christ’s was to save us all; I wonder what your trial is for?

As you go through your trial, it is okay to ask God to take you out of it because Jesus did this as well. He asked God if there is another way for this to happened then please consider it but He also told God, “Let your will be and not mine.” So as we pray to be delivered, we must remember to ask God for His will not ours.

As I close, I want to share that all of us have our crosses to bear. Christ cross was the death for all of our sins. Your cross maybe, a bad marriage, a husband that doesn’t love you, unemployment, sickness, death of a love one, a wife that is demanding or nagging, a bad relationship with a family member, a child or spouse on drugs or alcohol. No matter what it is, remember this is your cross and only you can carry it. As a friend of mine told me, “I am thankful for my cross because I am familiar with it and would not want anyone else’s cross. So I say this to say, that we all have our cross so don’t assume that others have it better than you because in many cases you don’t know what their cross is or will be in the future.

Thank God that He loves us enough to perfect us! Praise God in the middle of your storm and show others that you have greater power living in you that overshadows your flesh and causes you to have joy even in the midst of the storm. What an awesome testimony to someone who doesn’t know Christ to see you having joy despite your circumstance.
God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptations per James 1:12 so don’t miss out on your blessing!

Will your children learn to conform to God ways or the World from you?

We show our children our commitment to God by obeying Him and being separate from the world. God tells us in Romans 12:1-3; Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Your children need for you to set a godly example because the world is doing a great job of showing them the ways of Satan. Show them that God’s view of you is more important than the world’s. Let them know that God has set certain standards for us and they are totally different from the world. Our children are watching us and we must show them something that is different than what they see on television and at school. So when you are talking to your girl friends and buddies and you are gossiping, using inappropriate language or language that is not edifying; you are teaching your children that this is okay.

The camera is rolling, what will your life story look like? The other day, I was watching a comedian on television and he had clean jokes so I was so excited about getting my laugh on for the night. As I continued to watch him, something alarming happened; he used the Lord’s name in vain. I was disappointed and tried to ignore it but my spirit would not let me. So, I eventually turned the channel. So many times no one is watching but God!

Your children notice what you are watching on television. So you cannot tell them not to watch certain things and you are watching these inappropriate things.

The Word tells us that anyone who causes these little ones to sin might as well be wearing a millstone around their neck (Matthew 18:6). When we live our lives in ways that do not honor God and do not give our children the proper tools to know and worship God; we are in essence causing them to sin.

By Kathy Kirk the founder of My Child’s Heart Ministry. Read more about this in her E-book, “Becoming an Intentional Godly Parent.” www.MyChildsHeart.org

God selected preaching to save and edify man (I Cor. 1: 18-21). Hence, throughout the history book of the New Testament (Acts), we read of the preachers “speaking” and the audience “hearing” (cp. Acts 2: 7, 14; 37). The “seed of the kingdom” is the word and the word is truth (Lk. 8: 11; Jn. 17: 17). With these matters in mind, please consider Paul’s statement to the Christians at Ephesus:

“But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ” (Eph. 4: 15).

In verses eleven through sixteen, Paul presents the means of spiritual growth. The early church in the absence of the complete word (New Testament) had miraculous gifts (vs. 10, 11). These gifts had a uniform goal, “For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ…” (vs. 12). The word that was directly supplied in connection with these gifts was to stabilize the early Christians and guard them against error (vs. 14). There was anticipation regarding the coming of the “unity of the faith,” which was the totality of God’s revealed will for man, the New Testament (I Cor. 13: 8-10, Jas. 1: 25). When the full word was delivered and made available to man, these miraculous influences would cease (vs. 13). “Speaking the truth in love” is part of God’s plan and provision for spiritual growth (vs. 15). Notice that “truth” is objective and “in love” is subjective. Truth, then, is tangible while the motive for speaking the truth, love, is not as apparent. Let us now turn our attention to examining the matter of “speaking the truth in love.”

What speaking the truth in love is not. There is no small amount of confusion as to what constitutes speaking the truth in love. In fact, there are so many misunderstandings that in some situations it is impossible to speak the truth in love.

Speaking the truth in love, first of all, is not holding back parts of the truth. Paul said, “For I have not shunned to declare unto you all the counsel of God” (Acts 20: 27). Paul appreciated the truth to the point of allowing it to make those whom he loved his enemies (Gal. 4: 16). Notwithstanding, I have had people say to me, “Don, you do not have to teach on all matters, in fact, if you love people, you will spare them the truth on especially painful subjects.” One man who is today a preacher himself once told me relative to his parents who were members where I preached, “If you have love, you will not teach on divorce and remarriage because you know my parents have both been married to others!” Therefore, he demanded that part of the truth be withheld and used “speaking the truth in love” as his authority (see Matthew 19: 9). Love rather than causing one to withhold what is needed and applicable will actually precipitate “declaring the whole counsel of God” (cp. Prov. 13: 24).

Speaking the truth in love is not watering down the truth. Some seek to dilute and weaken the truth (I Pet. 2: 1, 2). “Preacher, tone down your preaching,” we hear and, “Do not rock the boat.” The same writer who penned, “…speaking the truth in love” also wrote, “Preach the word: be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine” (2 Tim. 4: 2).

Speaking the truth in love is not being so obscure that the hearers do not understand. Some preachers are skilled in circumlocution. After patiently listening to them, you realize that what they have said cannot really be decisively understood. Spirit led preachers who spoke the truth in love were clear and precise in their preaching (cp. Acts 2: 37, 38-41).

What speaking the truth in love is. The way to determine what speaking the truth in love constitutes is by considering approved examples.

The examples of speaking the truth in love clearly exemplify boldness. Jesus’ teaching was “open” and “plain” (Mk. 8: 32; Jn. 10: 24, 11). One descriptive word used by the Holy Spirit to describe the preaching of the apostles is the Greek parresia, which is often translated “boldness” (Acts 4: 13, 29, 31). To the same people to whom Paul wrote “…speaking the truth in love,” he later wrote in soliciting their prayers, “And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel” (Eph. 6: 19).

Speaking the truth in love necessitates the use of both the positive and negative. Modern man in his education has often come to believe that preaching must be positive. The Positive Movement even in some churches of Christ has precluded New Testament preaching and actually speaking the truth in love. The New Testament is replete with what to do (positive) and what not to do (negative). The word encourages good (positive) and exposes and condemns evil (negative, 3 Jn. 5-12).

Speaking the truth in love entails the presentation of all that God has said. What some do not realize who hold views that circumvent and prevent speaking the truth in love is that the truth sets free and saves (Jn. 8: 32, Jas. 1: 18ff.). Therefore, if one truly loves others, he will deliver the “whole counsel of God” (Acts 20: 27). Also, the word is designed to often be punitive in order that correction and repentance will follow (2 Tim. 4: 2, Heb. 12: 5ff.).

What to expect when there exists speaking the truth in love. First, spiritual growth should be expected and realized (Eph. 4: 15, see context). Christians should increase in spirituality and vitality and the lost should come to a knowledge of the truth. The church is God’s arrangement to effect spiritual growth and spiritual increase is predicated on the presentation and reception of the truth.

One should also expect some adverse reactions to the matter of speaking the truth in love. Jesus’ speaking the truth in love caused some of his disciples to “…walked no more with him” and even resulted in division among his Jewish brethren (Jn. 6: 66; 7: 43). Speaking the truth in love resulted in Stephen being murdered by a mad mob (Acts 7).

In closing our examination of “…speaking the truth in love,” I might point out that the hearer should primarily focus attention on the word being spoken, whether it is the truth (cp. Acts 17: 11). This is what John called “…trying the spirits whether they are of God” (I Jn. 4: 1). I say this because the hearer cannot immediately ascertain the subjective part of Ephesians 4: 15, “in love.” It behooves all preachers to speak the truth and to speak it in love. Hence, there is the constant need not only for making sure what is taught is the truth (book, chapter, and verse, I Thes. 5: 21), but also that the motivation for speaking it is love. Still, there will usually be those present who do not agree with the truth and seek to find fault with the speaker by charging, “…you are not speaking the truth in love!” By thus charging, they think that they have avoided the consequences of opposing the truth and have shifted guilt to the presenter of the truth. Paul spoke the truth in love, yet, he was relevant, cogent, plain, and often rebuking (cp. 2 Cor. 12: 20, 21). Speaking the truth in love, this is the constant challenge and worth while goal that is before us.

Todd E. Linaman, Ph.D

Many Americans are now struggling with the emotional aftermath of our recent national tragedies. Of all the normal emotional, psychological and physical responses we experience in times like these, anger is perhaps the most challenging to process and manage effectively.

How you choose to respond to your anger in the days, weeks and months ahead will make a difference in the quality of your relationships, your physical and emotional well being and your effectiveness in bringing about positive and constructive change. Here are some practical tips you can use to help you manage your anger more effectively.

1. Understand What Anger Is

Anger is not sin, but rather a natural, God-given physiological response to hurt, fear and frustration. When we believe that we have been mistreated or when we experience disappointment related to an unmet need or want our bodies prepare for action. It is this physiological response that we call anger. Anger has the potential to help us protect others and ourselves and can serve as a catalyst to bring about needed change, however, its relative value is largely determined by what we decide to do with it.

2. Control Your Initial Response

The emotional and physical numbness triggered by a traumatic event typically gives way to feelings of anger that can range from mild agitation to violent rage. The greater the sense of hurt, fear and frustration, the greater the intensity of our anger. It is always important to remember that our initial or “automatic” response to anger may not be the most constructive. We need to watch our words and our actions so that they do not become a damaging expression of our pain.

It is important to note that recent research challenges the once widely held belief concerning the value of letting one’s anger out through the

release of physical energy, e.g., hitting a pillow. It is now believed that this form of “catharsis” can actually reinforce the expression of hostility and aggression, which may increase the likelihood of a similar and even more intense response in the future.

3. Acknowledge Your Anger and Its Source

Go ahead and say it: “I am very angry at all those responsible for hurting and killing innocent people and for violating our freedoms and sense of security as a nation.”

Admitting to yourself, and to those around you, that you are experiencing anger as a result of feeling afraid, hurt or frustrated is key to managing your response. Simply saying out loud that you are angry can help decrease the intensity of your feelings. When we fail to acknowledge our anger we run the risk of holding it in until it overflows or begins to destroy us physically, spiritually and emotionally. Remember, feelings that are buried alive do not die!

4. Tell Yourself the Truth

Here are some objective facts:

• “I, along with my family, friends and country have been seriously and unjustly hurt. To feel angry about that is normal.”

• “To respond to my anger irrationally or aggressively will not serve any positive purpose.”

• “It is good to express my anger in a healthy, God honoring fashion.”

• “Ultimately, God is in control and His judgment will prevail.”

Through you we push back our enemies; through your name we trample our foes. I do not trust in my bow, my sword does not bring me victory; but you give us victory over our enemies, you put our adversaries to shame. Psalm 44:5-7

5. Limit Your Exposure to the Things That Trigger Your Anger

Repeated exposure to stressful images and information can intensify your emotional response. If you find that your anger intensifies when

you watch the news, read the newspaper or talk about the tragedy with a friend or co-worker, then you may need to significantly reduce or eliminate these activities. Find alternative activities to engage in like exercising, reading a book, playing with your children, working around the house, community volunteer work or watching a funny movie. Give yourself a break to help you keep your perspective.

6. Take Constructive Action

Effective anger management often includes engaging in constructive and creative forms of expression. Here are some examples of how you may want to respond to your anger.

• Write letters of condolences to the families of victims

• Write letters of appreciation to those involved in the rescue efforts

• Talk openly and honestly with friends, family and co-workers

• Join in local community relief efforts by donating money, blood or other needed items

• Write a poem, song or letter that expresses how you feel

• Write a letter to those who have attacked our nation and tell them what you think

• Identify ways to help eliminate hate and violence in your community

• Meditate on God’s promises found in Scripture

• Call or write to your government representatives and express support of their efforts

• Participate in community based memorial and prayer services

• Wave the American flag

• Pray without ceasing!

7. Forgive the Offenders

Most importantly, we must come to the place where we are willing to model Christ’s example of forgiveness. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” Luke 23:34

“In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”

Ephesians 4:26-27